Sometimes Life Grants A Second Chance
by jugglequeen
Summary: Alternative ending to the show's finale: Angela had left Iowa but Tony hadn't followed her - they remained separated. Five years later, a dramatic event has turned everybody's world upside down and forces Tony to recall the past. He hovers between happy and sad memories and needs more than one good listener to come clear of the mixed emotions he has accumulated over the years.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

This is my first fanfic, so please read and review. I'm German and not a native English speaker, so I'm sure there are some language and grammar mistakes. I wanted to publish an English story because who would read a German one on this platform? So please be gentle with your reviews here. I also had to look up some words in the dictionary, I hope I used them correctly. I'm also not a doctor, so maybe some of my medical narrations aren't very scientific - but it's fiction, isn't it?

All characters belong to ABC, I owe nothing...

**Chapter One - Why Am I Thinking About You?  
**

It was another working day which has come to an end, when Tony entered his apartment at Wells College - the apartment he once had decorated together with Angela. That had been almost five years ago and ever since he has worked hard and has become one of the most successful baseball coaches the college ever had. In his first year, his team had ended the season in 3rd place, in the following season they had won the championship and they've defended the title ever since. It has been a very satisfying work for him, both as a professor and as a baseball coach. For the first time in his life his work gave him a feeling of doing something that really mattered. As a young man he had poured all his energy into his own baseball career, a career which had turned out to be built on sand. Then, when his time as a pro player was over before it had really begun, he had worked for Mrs. Rossini's fish store driving the fish truck. Next step in his climbing the 'professional ladder' had been working as a housekeeper. It still sometimes made him smile that for others this must seem like the worst job of all for a proud Italian man, but for him it had been the best time of his life: He was done with his daily chores in less than three hours, he could do things he really loved like cooking and baking, he was well-paid, he could attend college and most of all, he could spend time with his daughter who had lost her mother too soon.

Tony wasn't a solitary person, until this very last phase of his life he always had lived together with someone: His parents, his grandfather after his mother had passed away, as a family of three with Marie and Samantha, then the two of them without Marie, and then ... then together with Mona, Jonathan and Angela. Soon after Sam and Tony had moved into the Bower household the five of them had created a surrogate family they all valued highly. They hadn't cared about the neighbours gossiping about their 'inappropriate' relationship. They had cherished what they had and had felt very lucky to have found each other. Then, after seven long years, Tony's and Angela's relationship finally had changed from best friends to lovers and eventually to an engaged couple - they hadn't known then that this transformation should've been the beginning of the end.

Tony sighed throwing the folder with history tests on the small kitchen table. Another sweet memory came to his mind and he smiled again: Angela sitting at the table with a terrible hangover after flying in from New York. She had decided to move in with him to end their weekend-only relationship. How come he's been thinking about the past all day? Would it be another night of tossing and turning in bed, thinking about 'what if'? What if he hadn't taken this job? What if he hadn't let her go? What if he had followed her home? What if ...? Too late! Five years had gone by since that decisive day when Angela had packed her suitcases and had left Iowa and him after they had desperately tried to make it work. But it hadn't. She couldn't live without her work at the Bower Agency in New York and didn't want him to leave his once-in-a-lifetime career opportunity in Iowa. So she had decided it was the best for the two of them to break up before they began to make each other's lives miserable. What If ...?

Again he asked himself why he has been thinking so much about Angela on this particular day? It wasn't any special day, no anniversary of any kind. It was a normal day as a professor at Wells College: A history class in the morning, followed by a literature class. During lunch break he had tried to talk some sense into one of his weaker students to work harder in class if he didn't want to quit the baseball team. After lunch with one of his colleagues he had supervised two practising sessions of his team which has been so successful since he had taken over. Now, it was almost 5:30 p.m. and his working day was over. As every day, he would go for a short run and a longer workout at the local gym, make himself a little something for dinner - the times of linguine à la vongole, lasagna or a meat loaf for dinner have long been over. After dinner, he would watch a little TV and go to bed early. He wasn't surprised that his mind took him down memory lane again: He pictured how he had used to snuggle up with Angela on the couch watching one of the old black-and-white movies they both loved so much until Angela would fall asleep in his arms and he carried her up the stairs into her bedroom. And then, there had been a time when they had shared a bedroom and she would fall asleep in his arms there. With another deep sigh Tony shook is head as if like this he could make these happy yet painful memories disappear.

He decided that a long run would clear his head and was already on his way to the bedroom to change into his workout gear when the telephone rang. That was surprising! Who would call him at that time of the day? Candy, his assistant, would only call him during working hours. Sam only called on weekends, when Hank was home to look after the kids so that they could talk without being interrupted by a toddler's need for something. Angela only called on his birthday for a brief and awkward conversation which left them both hurting for days.

"Hello?" Tony answered the phone.

"Tony? Oh Tony, I'm so glad I've reached you!"

_Mona? Mona is calling? That really is a surprise!_ flashed through his mind. Mona had never called him in Iowa before. They had spoken once or twice when he had called Angela on her birthday (another one of these awkward conversations between them) but had never called him. She was still angry with both of them, angry that they hadn't tried harder to work something out. The fact that she called him and especially the tone of her voice made him worry. She sounded tense, anxious and - helpless? _Mona Robinson helpless?_ That wasn't a state of mind he connected with the strong, self-assured and always hands-on red-head.

"Mona? What's wrong?" Tony asked, a little afraid of the answer. Was this why he has been thinking so much of them during the day? Was his sixth sense having a premonition? Was destiny playing a joke on him?

"It's an emergency, Tony! I need you here!"

"What's the matter, Mona?" Tony asked. _Sam! Something's wrong with Sam!_ was his first fearful thought. But then he said to himself that Angela would have called him in that case - despite all their awkward phone conversations. Same with Jonathan. Which left only one logical conclusion to him: Something was wrong with Angela.

"Mona! What happened?"

No answer.

"Mona! Come on, talk to me!" Tony insisted, almost shouting at her.

"Uhm, there was an accident. A terrible accident! She was on her way home in her car ... and there was this drunken driver ... and he didn't stop at the stop sign. Tony, he hit her car at full speed at the driver's side!" Mona was shaken and her report of the events interrupted by frequent sobbing. "The impact was really hard and she was injured very, very badly!"

"Who?" Tony asked in horror, his voice not more than a whisper.

"My baby."

"Angela?" Tony wanted to be sure but knew it was her. _So that's why I've been thinking about her all day._ Angela had been in a car accident and if he interpreted Mona's emotional state correctly, things were very dramatic.

"Mona, calm down! Where is Angela now? What can I do?" Tony tried to get some more information out of her.

"She's at the hospital. They had to resuscitate her right there on the street!" Her voice cracked. It took Mona some time to gather the strength to go on. "She had already undergone an emergency surgery. And now she's in the Intensive Care Unit, tied to a respirator with lots of tubes sticking out of her. Oh Tony, it's terrible! I'm so scared! She's unconscious since the accident and the doctors told me today, that there is a chance she will never wake up again. She's suffered a severe traumatic brain injury, one of her broken ribs punctured her lung and she lost a lot of blood."

Tony had to grab the backrest of the nearest chair, his mouth was dry, his heart was beating so hard against his rib cage that he was afraid he might also break some ribs. "Oh my God!" was all he could mutter into the phone.

"The doctors told me the next 48 hours will be critical. If she comes through them, she might recover. But Tony, I can't do this on my own. Waiting, I mean. I'm trying to be strong for Jonathan and Sam, but I'm too scared myself. I need you here! I don't know what to do ..." Mona sounded desperate and forlorn.

"I take the next flight to New York. I'll be there as soon as possible. Don't worry, Mona. You know Angela. She's a fighter and a very strong woman. She won't give up so easily. She'll fight her way back to us, I'm sure." _She has to, what will we do without her?_ he thought to himself but didn't speak out loudly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two - Is This How We Meet Again?**

Tony was riding a cab from the airport to the hospital. The flight had been a nightmare. His hands had trembled and his shirt had been wet from sweat - the other passengers must have thought he had a terrible fear of flying. But actually he had this terrible fear of losing the woman he never stopped loving for ever. As soon as the plane had touched the ground, Tony had grabbed his hand luggage and had run through the arrival hall to catch the first cab. Now, as they were approaching the hospital, the lump in his throat was so big he thought he would suffocate. "Can you drive a bit faster, please? It's really very urgent!" he tried to speed up the cab driver who already drove at full throttle because he could see the agony and despair on his passenger's face.

Upon arrival at the hospital, Tony rushed to the reception desk and asked for the Intensive Care Unit. He didn't want to wait for the elevator, so he chose the staircase, taking two steps at a time all the way up to the eleventh floor. His lung almost burst but he didn't care.

At the I.C.U. there was another receptionist who asked him politely, "Excuse me, Sir, who are you looking for?"

"Angela Bower, please. She was hospitalized yesterday after a severe car accident." Tony answered out of breath.

"Yes, Ms. Bower. Are you a relative?" she asked Tony in a very business-like tone.

"No, not quite." he said truthfully.

"What do you mean 'not quite'? Are you or are you not a relative? Only close relatives are allowed at the I.C.U. If you are not related to Ms. Bower, I cannot let you in, Sir. I'm sorry." she said matter-of-factly. She stood up behind the counter to mark her authority. Tony had the feeling of slowly going crazy. After hours of frantically trying to get to the hospital as fast as possible, this woman wanted to stop him right in front of her room?

"Please, Ma'am, I really need to see her!" Tony begged.

"That might be true, but I'm still not allowed to let you pass. I.C.U. patients need quiet and rest and mustn't be disturbed by any visitor who comes by." The receptionist was beginning to feel annoyed by him.

_Any visitor who comes by?_ Tony struggled to stay polite, reminding himself that this woman was only trying to do her job, when suddenly he had an idea. "Is her mother with her, Mona Robinson? If yes, would you please be so kind to tell her I'm here. My name is Tony Micelli and she asked me to come."

The receptionist was relieved that the muscular man in front of her seemed to have relaxed a little. "That I can do. Please wait here, Mr. Micelli. I'm going to talk to Mrs. Robinson." With these words she was gone for a couple of minutes which seemed like hours to Tony. Finally, a door opened and Mona stepped out of a room, dressed in a green surgical gown, and instantly saw him._ Oh my God!,_ Tony thought,_ I've never seen her this exhausted! _

"Tony!" Mona exclaimed, "I'm so glad you're here, Buddy." She threw herself in his arms and closed her eyes in his embrace. Never ever had Tony seen as much of an emotional outburst from Mona. Addressing the nurse, she said, "Ms. Foster, please meet Tony Micelli. He is my daughter's former fiancée and closest friend. If anybody can help us survive all of this, it's him. You have to let him in, otherwise I'm going to have a nervous breakdown right here in front of your reception desk, that's for sure!"

The nurse patted Tony on the shoulder and complied. "It's good you're here, Mr. Micelli. Ms. Bower's son and mother need all the support they can possibly get. Forgive me for being so interrogative earlier, but it's my duty to protect our patients from any kind of unnecessary disturbance. If you need anything, please contact me any time. We need to get you a sterile gown, then you can go and see your friend."

Tony managed a slight smile and for the first time in almost 12 hours he felt some kind of relief. A few minutes later he was dressed like Mona in a green gown and followed her to the room Angela was in. Just as they stood in front of the door, Mona hesitated and turned around. "Tony, I have to warn you. She looks terrible. Don't be too shocked." With these words she opened the door and they stepped into the room. _Mona's right_, Tony thought, _she__ does look terrible!_ He gasped for breath. So this was how he was supposed to see her again: In a hospital bed, closer to death than life. Angela was lying in a slightly raised bed, covered by a thin white cotton sheet and a shirt which was buttoned up at the front. She was tied to a respirator, a heart and oxygen monitor and an access for intravenous medication. Her head was bandaged and her left leg plastered. Tony swallowed hard before he approached her. He spotted some dried blood stains at her right hand. He took it in his and felt terribly relieved that it was as warm and smooth as he remembered it.

"Angela, Sweetheart, it's me!" Tony whispered, gently stroking her hand. "I came as fast as I could and I won't leave until we have you back!" Behind him Mona took a deep breath and felt a tiny little bit of confidence reaching her heart.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 - Do I Really Want To Know?**

Tony had sent Mona home to get some rest. She had been with Angela for almost two days and desperately needed a break. Sam had returned to Hank and her two boys, only Jonathan had refused to leave and had stayed with him. He was sleeping on a small cot in Angela's room totally exhausted from worrying about his mother for the past 48 hours. Tony was sitting on a wooden chair beside Angela's bed, listening to the constant beeping of the heart monitor. He held her hand and kept looking at her face. He felt relieved that he was with her again, that the time of their separation was over. But he also felt anger rising within him, anger that it took this terrible accident to bring them together again. Why had he been so stubborn? How come he hadn't realized earlier that being a successful college professor was good but far from equating with a fulfilled private life, let alone a fulfilled love life. He had already lost the love of his life once, how could he had been so stupid to let go of his second chance of love and happiness? Why had he been so willing to believe her when she had said they couldn't make it? _Stop it!,_ Tony said to himself. _Stop torturing yourself with these questions which have no answer!_ Angela needed him strong and supportive, not doubting and hesitant.

"Mr. Micelli, here is a cup of coffee. I thought you might use a little caffeine." A nurse had entered the room. Tony smiled and thanked her. "I have to check on your friend. Doctor Macintosh will be here in a few minutes. If you have any questions concerning Ms. Bower's medical condition, please turn to him." She took Angela's blood pressure, pulse and temperature and wrote them on a chart. She checked all the instruments and refilled the infusions. Then a man in his mid-fifties entered the room, his name tag identified him as Doctor Macintosh.

"Mr. Micelli. I'm Doctor Macintosh, Ms. Bower's physician in charge. Mrs. Robinson authorised me to tell you everything about Ms. Bower's medical condition." he introduced himself.

"How bad is it, Doctor?" Tony asked, not really sure whether he wanted to know all the details. What if her prognosis was poor? He knew exactly how it felt like to be informed about a hopeless situation of a beloved woman. He remembered his despair and how he had quarreled with fate. He had felt helpless and angry and discouraged and sad and so many other ways and he was horrified to stand at the very start of another dreadful journey.

"Well, Mr. Micelli, your friend suffered some severe injuries. The impact was very hard from the left side. This is why her left leg is broken three times. But that doesn't worry us too much. Her lung is still suffering a bit from being punctured by a broken rib but the emergency surgery was successful. The respirator is still helping her to breathe but we are quite optimistic that we can take her off the respirator in a few days. It's the traumatic brain injury we are still worried about. We aren't able to predict the damage as long as she's still unconscious and the longer she stays unconscious, the less likely she will recover completely." Tony groaned. "I'm sorry for being so direct. But I don't want to raise false expectations. Ms. Bower's condition is critical and severe but it's not hopeless. We have to wait another 48 hours. Everything is possible, even a complete recovery."

Tony's eyes were filled with tears. "How can I help her, Doctor?"

Doctor Macintosh cast him an encouraging glance. "Talk to her, touch her, let her know you're here. There are clinical studies which prove that patients in a coma do feel the presence of their loved ones. She's already survived some critical situations, so she seems to be a fighter. Support her, then everything is possible - as I already said."

"Okay, I understand. Thank you for the information, Doctor. It's not easy to digest all of this, I can tell you that, but I'll do everything I can to help her." Tony had a déjà vu. He had experienced a similar situation years ago, in another life, when one of the doctors had told him about Marie's fatal state of cancer. There hadn't been any hope then, all he could do was holding her hand and being there for her when she slipped into the final unconsciousness. Tony never thought he would've been forced to go through that hell again. But this time there was hope and he was willing to give Angela every possible support. After the doctor and the nurse had left the room, he sat on Angela's bed and gently stroked her cheek. "Sweetheart, we'll get through this.", he whispered in her ear. "I know you can do this. You're the strongest person I know. Please, don't let go. We need you. I need you! I love you ..."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 - How Did We Get Along Without Each Other?**

Tony woke up in the morning after a restless sleep on the cot in Angela's hospital room. Jonathan had gone home for a few hours to refresh and pick up Mona. One of the nurses made Angela's bed and shook the cotton sheet to freshen it up, so Tony got a glimpse of her lower body and had to inhale sharply. Her entire body was cluttered with bruises and cuts, some of them stitched others just taped. _This really must have been a very bad accident,_ Tony thought, _a__ miracle she's still here_.

A few minutes later Jonathan and Mona entered the room. Mona looked better than the day before. Some hours of sleep, a refreshing shower and two cups of morning coffee had done it. Little did Tony know that it was his presence which made her relax in the first place.

"Good morning you two." Tony greeted them, stretching his legs and combing his hair with his fingers.

"Hi Tony. You look awful!" was Mona's morning greeting.

"Thank you, Mona." he replied with a grin. "Blunt as ever! At least something's back to normal."

"Come on, Tony." Mona said conciliating. "I treat you a breakfast at the cafeteria downstairs. Jonathan can stay with Angela in the meantime."

After they both had ordered a cup of coffee and a croissant, they were sitting at a small table and were silent for a while. Then Mona said very sincerely "I wasn't sure whether to call you or not. But it was just too much for me, I couldn't think straight anymore. And you were the only person I knew I could count on."

"I appreciate you called me, Mona. I would've never forgiven myself if I had let you down in such a crisis." Tony forced back some tears. "You know, when Marie was in the hospital, I was all alone. Her father and I didn't get along very well and Sam was too little. I had nobody to share my fear with. It drove me insane to sit at her bed all by myself, unable to do anything." Tony's heart ached when the sad memories emerged from the depths of his subconscious mind where they had been buried for so long.

"I missed you as a friend all these years, Tony." Mona and Tony had been buddies from day one and had relied more than once on each other in a tricky situation. For the first time, he realized how much Angela's and his separation had affected the rest of the Bower-Micelli-family. They had messed up with everybody! Not only had they lost each other as lovers, they had also destroyed the family structure they had built so thoroughly over the years. Mona had lost her confidante and Jonathan his surrogate father. Even Sam's and Angela's daughter-mother relationship had been impaired, although Angela had always been available for Sam and had supported her a lot during her pregnancies and as a young mother. Their connection just hadn't been as easygoing anymore. And Tony? Tony had lost everybody ...

He felt a great sadness rising within him and sighed. "I missed you too, Mona. I missed all of you. I don't know why it needed this to bring us all back to reason. I mean we belong together, don't we? We are a family, always have been."

Mona nodded approvingly, took a sip of coffee, then asked him, "So, how has it been in Idaho?" She grinned. "I know, I know - Iowa! Has life been good to you? Any women?"

Tony had to chuckle. How he had missed those conversations with her. She was always direct, a bit teasing and provocative, but deep down she had a heart of gold. "Yes, life's been good. I love being a teacher. To work with young people and arouse their interest in history and literature and politics. And being a baseball coach is the best part of it. I have a really great team, you know. We've won the State College Championships three times in a row. And ... no! No women. At least, nothing serious. How could I?"

"How long can you stay?" Mona wanted to know.

"As long as necessary." He had called Professor Graham late last night and told him that his presence in New York was required for an indefinite period of time. The baseball season was over and the semester would end in two weeks anyway. A colleague, for whom he had covered several times in the past, took his classes, so everything was taken care of. He was free to stay for at least two months.

"How about you stay with me in my apartment? I have a guest room, as you know - although my 'guests' usually stay in my bedroom ..." _Same old Mona!_ "I don't think Angela would mind if you slept in your old room, but there's nobody else in the house. Jonathan has a room in the dorm."

Tony appreciated the offer. "That's a nice idea, Mona. I would like that. And besides, I'm not ready for all the memories waiting for me in this house anyway." Mona smiled and took his hand in hers.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 - How Do I Get Through This?**

The following days, Tony, Mona, Sam and Jonathan stayed alternately with Angela, although it was always Tony who had the longest shifts. But that was fine to him, he wouldn't want to be any other place than near her. He read her books, told her about his life in Iowa, sang her favorite songs and enumerated all the delicious meals he would cook for her once she was out of the hospital and back home.

One morning, after another night of restless sleep on the cod, a nurse, who regularly checked on Angela, entered the room with a bowl of warm water, dressing and a bottle of antiseptic solution. "Morning, Mr. Micelli. I have to change Ms. Bower's bandages and check whether there are any inflammations. Would you like to help me?"

"Call me Tony, please." he offered. "Yeah, I'd like to do that." This would give him a chance to be of real use, he thought. Talking and reading and singing was one thing, but really easing her physical injuries would be something different.

"I'm Jane." the nurse said, smiling at him. "I show you what to do. Just don't be scared to touch her, she doesn't feel any pain."

They started with her arms. Jane took off all the bandages and examined the cuts and bruises. She put a bit of the antiseptic solution on a sterile tissue and dabbed at the injuries. "Everything looks fine. See how the wounds are healing? The human body is a miraculous thing. After so many years working as a nurse, I'm still overwhelmed sometimes about its self-healing power." she said. That was supposed to comfort him and lift his spirits, he realized.

"May I ask you a question, Mr. Micelli ... uh, Tony?"

"Sure."

"It's a personal question, so if you don't want to talk about it ..." Tony raised his eyebrows, wondering what was going to come, but signalled her to continue. "Go ahead!"

"Uhm, you seem to care about Ms. Bower so much, you spend almost every hour of the day at her bed and you call her 'Sweetheart' ..." _Yeeeees?_ Tony was waiting for the question which she was so hesitant to ask. "I don't want to seem impolite, but ... how come you aren't married?"_ Very well, that's it then!_ "Mrs. Robinson told me the other day that you had been engaged but broke up some years ago." The question was hanging in the air like a thundercloud in the sky on a humid summer day.

Tony looked at Angela, "If only I had a good answer to that question, Jane. Things have been very complicated between us."

"Would you like to talk about it? Nurses do have an obligation of secrecy, you know." she showed him a warm smile. So Tony started to tell her the whole story while they were taking care of Angela's injuries. How he had only been her housekeeper first, how they'd become best friends, then soul mates. And he told her all about the twists and turns in their relationship until they finally had become lovers. He even told her about Kathleen! It somehow eased his troubled mind to talk about it. Jane listened, incredulously at some point, as she has never heard a story like this before.

"But why did you break up then? If it took you seven years to get together, how come your love only lasted such a short time?"

"We had problems we couldn't solve." was all he said.

They were silent for a moment and continued to treat Angela's wounds. After both arms and her right leg - the left was still plastered - they had to care for her torso. The nurse took of the sheet and started to unbutton the hospital shirt Angela was still wearing. Tony groaned as he saw the long scar from the emergency lung operation. He stared at her. _What has he done to that beautiful body?_ He condemned the drunken driver who had caused the accident. He remembered the feminine curves of her body and her milky soft skin. How he had enjoyed caressing and kissing every inch of it!

"Come on, Tony. It's not that bad." Jane said interrupting his thoughts. She saw his shocked face and tried to ease his intimidation by giving him something to do. "See, I take this patch off and you can disinfect the scar with the antiseptic solution. Just don't put too much of it on the tissue, okay. Go ahead, you'll be fine!" He did as she told him. At first, he couldn't take his eyes off Angela's breasts and blushed when he realized Jane was watching him with a broad grin. Then, he treated the scar and all the other cuts the broken glass from the windshield had left on her skin.

"I always thought," Jane started their conversation again "two people can solve every possible problem if they only love each other enough. And you seemed to have been so much in love. So, what happened?"

"Well ..." Tony started. He had already poured out his heart to her, he might as well tell her the rest of the story. "There was this difference in social status. She was my boss, for heaven's sake! She paid me for cleaning her house! It didn't matter much to her, but it wasn't so easy for me." He sighed.

"But it happens all the time that bosses get involved with their employees. Do you know how many of our doctors married a nurse?" Jane tried to reason.

_Doesn't she want to understand?_ "Yes, but male bosses marry female employees! It was the other way round with us! She was the big shot, a successful ad exec, running her own, very profitable agency. And I was a housekeeper and college student. What could I offer her? Her ex-husband is an awarded documentary film maker, her other dates took her out to fancy restaurants and Broadway shows. And all I could do was making popcorn and throwing a movie into the VCR!"

"And was that really important to her? I mean all the fancy stuff?" Jane wanted to know.

"I guess not. She loved my popcorn and enjoyed every movie on the couch to the fullest. She even said she wouldn't care if I mowed lawn in Central Park." he replied.

"Oooh, that was I nice thing to say. So where was the problem that couldn't be solved then?" Jane kept on asking.

She was right. It was difficult to understand for onlookers. He continued to tell Jane their story. How he finally had graduated and, after some months of painful unemployment, still receiving a pay check out of Angela's hand every week, he had gotten this job offer from Wells College in Iowa. How Angela had pushed him to take it, how they had tried to pursue their relationship by spending the weekends together either in Connecticut or Iowa. How as that hadn't worked out too well, she had made that big step taking a leave of absence from her agency to move in with him.

"Wow, that was some kind of sacrifice! You guys really tried to make it work, didn't you!?" Jane was impressed and still couldn't figure out what went wrong between those two people.

"Yes, it was. Only that I didn't realize how miserable she was ..." He was still marvelling why he hadn't noticed that she hadn't been happy. She had run about the apartment in a bowling shirt, he remembered, something that would've had never ever happened in Fairfield. _That should have made you think, you idiot!_

"Or maybe, I just didn't want to see it. I was so happy and satisfied. That was the way I pictured my life when I was a little boy. I'd be providing a beautiful wife and a bunch of lovely kids with a wonderful job. I felt that finally I was a man Angela could be proud of. Nobody would ask her 'You married your housekeeper?', she would've been married to a college professor. Stupid, isn't it?"

Jane shrugged her shoulders. "Yes and no! I'm now beginning to see the predicament you were in. You weren't happy with the situation in Connecticut and she wasn't with the one in Iowa." Jane hit right on the button.

"Yep. And when I was offered a three-year-contract, Angela just couldn't keep up the façade any longer. She told me she missed her work and the hectic business life of New York and that she needed to go back and ..." It still felt like being stabbed in his heart to recollect this particular moment when everything had fallen apart. "and she didn't want me to come with her. She said I should stay and pursue my college career, that it was my turn now to put my needs in first place. And that was it. That was the end."

"You never saw or spoke to each other again?" the nurse asked incredulously.

"Oh, yes. We called each other on our birthdays and Jonathan invited me to his high school graduation - he even mentioned me in his speech, not his real dad but me. I was so proud. And Angela is like a mother to Sam, so she certainly was there when we baptised Sam's children. I mean she's their grandmother just as I'm their grandfather. We were still a family only that for the two of us these family gatherings were everything but easy. We didn't break up because we didn't love each other any more. So when we saw each other ..." Jane darted a look of expectancy at him. "Well, we shared some passionate kisses." He grinned but wouldn't tell her everything. Especially not how they ended up in bed once, only once. It had been the night of Mona's 66th birthday which she had celebrated on a grand scale and Tony had been invited too. They both had had some glasses of champagne and had danced most of the evening. He had given her a ride home and on the doorstep passion had taken over. They had kissed and had barely made it upstairs to the bedroom. They had made love, each of them letting go and pretending as if they had never been apart. The next morning, when he had woken up, she had been downstairs already and both had called it a mistake. Although for Tony it hadn't really felt like a mistake - it had felt just like the right thing to do.

It suddenly struck him, that their relationship after breaking up had been like before they had gotten together: Keeping the emotions bottled up with rationality. Only that this time Angela had been the one stepping on the brake. Before their love confession at the carnival, he had always been postponing a commitment whereas she had signalled him more than once that she had been ready to take the next step. After breaking up, it had been her who kept on backpadelling every time their emotions had gone out of hand. _How come this never occurred to me before?_ Tony asked himself. _This nurse would be a good shrink!_

"So, do you think this ..." Jane looked at Angela "... will change anything?"

"I don't know, Jane. I honestly don't know" Tony replied.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 - How Could I Only Be So Blind?**

The conversation with Jane came back to his mind a few days later when he was sitting at Angela's bed once more, like so many days before. After he had told her about the incredible recipe for a macadamia nut chocolate fudge cake he was going to try out for her once she was home, he had to think about his 'therapy session' with the nurse. "Did you hear what I told Jane the other day, Angela?" Tony asked, not really expecting an answer of the still unconscious person in front of him. "Jane is your nurse. She's a very nice woman, you'd like her. She asked me about us ... and I ... uhm ... I sort of told her everything. Well, not everything, but most of it. I certainly did not tell her about the night of your mother's 66th birthday! Do you remember?" He grinned conspiratorially at Angela. "If your mother knew!"

"If I knew what?" Tony's heart stood still when he suddenly felt two hands on his shoulders and heard Mona's unmistakable voice. He hadn't seen her standing in the door frame when he talked to Angela about their little secret. Well, it wasn't a secret anymore!

"Oh, hi Mona. Since when are you standing there?"

"Long enough to understand that you try to hide something from me. Come on, Buddy, spit it out! You can tell me right away or let me winkle it out of you. Your choice!" She grinned at him challenging. Angela would kill him if he told her mother about their night after the birthday party, but he also knew there was no way Mona would let him off the hook. So ...

"Well, uhm, your party was really nice and Angela and I had a really good time ... drinking champagne and dancing ..." Tony began feeling like balancing on a tightrope.

"Aaaaand?" Mona insisted.

Silence.

"Tony! If you told the nurse, you can tell me too, can't you?" Mona felt a bit insulted.

"No, not really. Jane has an obligation of secrecy and you don't, Mona. That's for sure!" That came out a bit more reprimanding than he had intended to.

"Oh Tony, come on, give me a little credit. This is not like it used to be. We're in an extraordinary situation here, aren't we? I don't want to tease you or make fun of you and Angela, I want to help you. After she'd come home from Iowa, life hadn't been easy neither for her nor for us." Mona replied, with a sincere expression on her face. Tony had to let that sink in. He just wasn't used to having an earnest conversation with his almost mother-in-law, although they've had a few. The one after he had slept with Kathleen came to his mind.

"You're right, Mona. I'm sorry." he apologized. "Well, as you might have noticed, Angela's and mine relationship was a bit tense after we'd broken up." he began.

"Yes, that was obvious. Every time you two had one of your phony birthday phone calls, Angela was miserable for hours. And I remember Jonathan's high school graduation." Mona shook her head. "She cried when she heard Jonathan thanking you for your support in his speech. And I remember she cried herself into sleep for days after my birthday party ..." she prompted him, one eyebrow raised.

"Did she tell you why?" Tony asked.

"Hell no! You know Angela like I do. Of course she didn't tell me. I just assumed it had something to do with you, but I waited whether she would open up to me, but - as expected actually - she didn't. I'm not such a coldhearted jerk, you know!?" Mona defended herself.

"I know, Mona, I know. And Angela also knows, I'm sure. The situation was just so difficult for us. I guess she even didn't know herself what to think about it." He paused for a moment, then he decided to tell her the entire story about that particular night which could've been a new start in Tony's eyes if Angela hadn't called it a mistake the next morning. "Well, uhm, after we left your party, Angela and I, uh ..." _Wow, that's more difficult than I thought_.

Tony, I'm not a nun. It's me, Mona! We already talked about this kind of stuff after your escapade with Kathleen, remember? So don't stutter like a pubescent teenager, just spit it out!" Mona has always amused herself about Tony's inhibitions when it comes to talking about his love life, but at that moment she really lost her patience and just wanted him to talk.

Tony cleared his throat. He felt a bit like talking to his father confessor back in Brooklyn. "Okay, okay. I guess you figured it out by now anyway. So ... after your birthday party Angela and I spent the night together." _Now it's out__! _

"I hope it wasn't your first time." was all she had to say to his 'confession'. She had to smile a bit. Did he really expected her to be shocked? He should've known her better. "Tony, I hoped for the both of you that you wouldn't wait until you were married. That was a dumb concept in my eyes anyway. And, as a matter-of-fact, the state I found Angela in the day after my party explained everything. I know my baby better than she knows herself. And it broke my heart to see her so worried and agitated. To be honest Tony, I couldn't understand why you had left. I even was a bit angry."

That was a surprise! He had always thought that by leaving he did what was expected of him. "She was so self-secure, Mona. I didn't dare to propose anything because she seemed so clear about what she wanted ... or rather not wanted. She was standing at the kitchen sink in the pink bathrobe I always liked on her, arms crossed in front of her chest and all she said was 'Tony, you have to catch a plane, don't you?' I was devastated but gathered my stuff and left. What else could I have done?" He looked at Mona for confirmation, but she wouldn't give it to him.

"Turn around and look back, for example." Mona wouldn't spare him the full truth. "Once you were gone she broke down and cried her eyes out. That was how I found her when I came in through the back door. Tony, I thought you knew Angela. Didn't you see she was only pretending to be the strong woman? She wasn't herself anymore after she had returned from Iowa. She buried herself in her work, which was good for the agency but very bad for her soul. I've never seen her more lost in her life. Not after her divorce, not even after her father's death." Mona sighed and shook her head remembering how her daughter had struggled to come to terms with her life being a single working mother again.

"Why didn't she tell me then, Mona? We had a wonderful night together ..." he flushed and Mona had to smile because of his crimson red cheeks but suddenly he was gutsy enough to totally expose himself. "I felt exactly how much she loved and missed me. I couldn't understand her reaction the next morning at all."

Mona told Tony how hard Angela had worked to get her life back together without him. "I guess she was just afraid that the house of cards she had built so carefully might collapse again. It was a form of self-protection to push you away."

"Mona, I felt so lonely without her. And to this very day, I do not fully understand why we couldn't make it work." Tony was a bit lost in his thoughts when Mona replied "Neither can I, Tony. Both of you had been hurting so much after breaking up, no wonder you couldn't keep your hands off each other at the family gatherings - graduation, baptism or mother's birthday ..." she winked at him. Tony was stunned that Angela's and his togetherness was like an open book to Mona. But then again, who were they trying to fool? Mona, the love expert?

"She didn't leave you because she didn't love you anymore, you know that, don't you?" Mona grabbed Tony's hand and squeezed it firmly.

"Yes, I know. I just hope I'll get the chance to find out why she really left me. The longer I have to sit at her bed and look at her, receiving no answer to anything I ask her, the more crazy my ideas get." Tony seemed really troubled.

"I can assure you one thing, Tony: Other men have never been in the picture! Angela decided to live as a celibate. After one failed marriage and the drama of you two, she didn't dare to admit another man access to her heart."

"So I guess I have to wait until she wakes up to get some answers to my questions." Tony stated, reminding them both of the threatening state Angela was still in. But he's had enough of 'therapy' lately. This was all so hard: Worrying about Angela's life and mulling over the failure of their relationship.

"Let's pray you'll get the chance." Mona said with tears in her eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 - Can I Still Believe In Miracles?**

It was at the end of week 2 of his return, when Doctor Macintosh asked Tony to see him in his office. Tony didn't know what to expect. He hadn't noticed any major change in Angela's medical condition other than that her cuts and bruises began to heal. They had taken her off the respirator two days earlier, as Doctor Macintosh had told him before, after her lung had recovered from the surgery. But she was still unconscious and there was still no clue whether her brain was affected or not. A situation which was grueling for everybody. He knocked at the door.

"Come in." a voice said.

"Hello Doctor, you wanted to talk to me?"

"Oh yes, Mr. Micelli, please come in and take a seat." Doctor Macintosh said friendly. _He doesn't look too worried, _Tony thought, _is this a good sign?_

"We see reason to slight optimism, Mr. Micelli." Tony's heart skipped a beat. "Ms. Bower's lung works perfectly and her overall body condition has improved. We've been measuring her brain waves ever since she was hospitalized and recently we notice a strengthening brain activity. Her brain waves are still weak compared to a healthy person, but they are improving. And as long as she makes progress, there is hope she'll recover. Please, don't see this as a promise and it's going to be a long process, but based on my experience I really have a good feeling."

Tony was speechless. He hadn't expected such good news.

"Mr. Micelli. All of you are doing a great job. I'm sure that you play an important role in the recovery of your friend. Plus, she seems to be really fighting for her life. I've rarely seen a patient so severely injured recover so quickly. But please, don't let your expectations get out of hand. The human body is a complicated and complex system and - unfortunately - sometimes unpredictable. But for all your efforts, I had the feeling you deserved some good news."

Tony's head was spinning. He felt a wave of relief swashing over him. He thanked Doctor Macintosh and rushed back to Angela's room. The whole family was there - his family. "I have good news!" he greeted them.

The following weeks Angela made slow but steady progress. As Jonathan had to return to college and Sam, as a wife and mother of two, was called for family duties, Tony and Mona were mainly staying with Angela. Tony had never seen Mona so motherly caring for her daughter. But he wasn't surprised at all. He always knew that behind her badinages she hid a warm heart. Mona and Tony would sit on both sides of Angela's bed and talk about their happy memories - the family dinners, holidays at the beach, anniversary celebrations, client's banquets and school events. Her head wasn't bandaged any more, so her blond locks were visible and spread out on the pillow. _It seems as if she's only sleeping!_ Tony thought sometimes. How he wished she would open her brown eyes and smiled at him!

One morning, when he was ready to start another day talking to an unresponsive Angela, a very agitated nurse waved at him when she saw him strolling down the aisle towards Angela's room. "Mr. Micelli! We've been desperately waiting for you! Come on, quick!"

_ What's the matter?_ he thought. _S__troke, heart attack, organ failure? Oh my God, don't let this happen, please!_ He followed the nurse to Angela's room and saw two doctors and Jane standing at her bed._ Oh no!_

"Mr. Micelli!" Doctor Macintosh was one of the doctors. _Why is he smiling?_ "Come here, she's just about to wake up. Her brain waves became very strong and active this night and we've just given her some medication to help her to wake up."

Tony couldn't move. He didn't understand a single word. A few seconds ago he thought she might be dying and now the doctor was telling him she was waking up? Slowly, he approached Angela's bed and couldn't believe what he was seeing. Her eyelids were flickering, she opened her mouth just a little to take a deep breath, her head was moving slighty and her fingers were trembling. It was as if life was slowly crawling back into her.

"Come here, Mr. Micelli. Talk to her. This is really very strenuous for her. She needs some encouragement from you." Doctor Macintosh shoved Tony close to the bed.

Tony grabbed Angela's hand and began talking to her. "Hi Honey, you're almost done! Come on, you can do it. Open your eyes. I would love to see your beautiful eyes. I've waited so long to look into your eyes again ..."

And then, the miracle everybody had desperately been hoping and waiting for, just happened: Angela opened her eyes!

"Tony?" was the first word she muttered. And she smiled._ I've never seen a more beautiful smile_, Tony thought and began to cry.

"Why are you crying?" Angela managed to say before her voice cracked.

"Ms. Bower." Doctor Macintosh interrupted her, knowing that barely woken up coma patients lack an understanding of the critical situation they had been in. "You've been hospitalized after a severe car accident. You've been sleeping for a while that is why we're all happy to see you're awake. Especially your friend here, who sat at your bed almost every second of the past three weeks." He patted Tony on the shoulder. "I'd like to do some minor tests with you right now, then you're free to enjoy the day together." The doctor checked some of Angela's basic reflexes and memory power. "Everything's fine. Just take it easy. Your body has been through a lot of trouble lately, so don't demand too much of it." He smiled at her. "Welcome back, Ms. Bower."

After the doctors and nurses had left the room, each shaking Tony's hand and smiling at him, Jane hugging him compassionately, he pushed a chair close to Angela's bed, sat down and took her hand in his. In awe he watched her, still struggling to believe that all his prayers had finally been answered. She had woken up! Moreover, the doctors seemed to be satisfied with her medical condition - obviously her brain hadn't suffered any permanent damage. _A miracle! The miracle I was hoping for when Marie was sick. _It hadn't happened then, but it happened this time_._ His emotions were on a roller coaster ride.

"Angela," he finally managed to say, "I'm so relieved. I was so scared to lose you forever." He saw some incredulity in her eyes, suddenly understanding that she might not remember the accident. "You were hit by a drunken driver on your way home from the office. You were severely injured and the doctors couldn't guarantee Mona you would make it. She was devastated and felt helpless ... Don't look at me like that! Yes, your mother was helpless!"

Angela closed her eyes and for a moment Tony was afraid she might not open them again. But she looked at him once more and signalled him to go on. "So Mona called me and asked me to come. And when I saw you in this bed, all bruised and cut and bandaged and tied to those machines, I suddenly had this terrible fear we would never be given another chance to clean up the mess we left behind after breaking up. We were so stupid, Angela! I was so stupid! How could we throw away the most wonderful thing two people can share - love and affection and trust and friendship? ... Okay, that's actually more than just one thing." Angela smiled weakly at him. "But let's talk about it some other time. You need some rest. Why don't you relax a bit and I give Mona and the kids a call. They'll kill me if they find out I didn't call them right away. It was a difficult time for all of us." He kissed her slightly on the forehead, cupped her face with his hands and smiled at her.

He was the happiest man on earth.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 - Will I Get a Second Chance?**

With Tony's help Angela made quick progress. He cooked her favorite meals, the food provided by the hospital wasn't good enough for her, he decided. He accompanied her to physiotherapy and cheered her on when she was exhausted. And he made her laugh when she was desperate because things wouldn't go the way she wanted them to. It was a rather unburdened time, both of them concentrating on Angela's positive healing process and avoiding the subject which was hanging like the sword of Damocles above them. Tony wanted to hold her spirits up and didn't dare to darken her thoughts, knowing that a positive attitude is important for a convalescent patient. So he swallowed all the burning questions which were slumbering in the depths of his mind. Angela, of course, needed all her strength for her physiotherapy, speech practices and ergotherapy and little did she know about the 'therapy sessions' Tony had been through during her unconsciousness.

After a few days, Angela could sit upright in her bed and another few days later Tony was allowed to take her outside in a wheelchair for a stroll through the hospital's garden. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, the sky was blue and it was nicely warm. They stopped at a remote spot and he helped her out of the wheelchair to sit on a bench. The fresh air was good for her, since her lung was still struggling a bit from the accident. _It's almost like sitting on the swing of our house in Fairfield,_ he thought. _Our house!_ If he only knew what had gone wrong since the days he last called this house 'our' house.

After sitting silently side by side on the bench for some time, holding hands, each of them lost in their thoughts, Angela began the conversation they both knew was inevitable but neither of them was very eager to have. "Thank you, Tony ... for coming, I mean. I'm not sure whether I would've made it without you. But ... the question now is - how do we go on from here? What are we gonna do when I'm released from the hospital?" Tony swallowed hard. He'd been thinking about this for the past few days as Angela's condition kept improving consistently and it was just a matter of time when she would be allowed to go home.

"I think first we have to figure out why we couldn't make it work back then to find an answer to that question." he said awkwardly. The moment when Angela had left his apartment with two suitcases in her hands came once again to his mind. The day before they had decided to break up - well, actually she had decided to leave.

"Angela?"

"Hmmm?"

"I ... need to ask you something. Something that's on my mind ever since that day you left Iowa but keeps popping up the last few weeks again and again." Tony was a little reluctant to ask this question. But he had the feeling that the answer to it would be crucial for their prospective relationship - if there would ever be one ...

"Why did you leave? Why did you really leave?" He stressed the word 'really'.

She looked at her hands. She didn't see that coming. She thought that Tony had bought her argument that day, that they were both doing what they were meant to do. She has never told anybody, not even her mother, that it had only been half the truth. She took a deep breath, turned towards him and looked him in the eye. Angela sensed she had to be completely honest with him at this moment, otherwise they would never be at peace. She cleared her throat and began to explain what had troubled her the most back then.

"I hated myself for not being the woman you deserved. A woman who supported you no matter what. As I realized that just being the woman at your side, you know ... like 'Mrs. Tony Micelli', was not fulfilling, I was so disappointed in me. You deserved a woman who was willing to give up everything for you. I knew you would do that for me and ... I couldn't do that for you. I needed - and I still do as a matter of fact - this damn job of mine to boost my ego. So I had to do what I needed, which was going back to New York, and I had to prevent you from doing also what I needed, which would've been coming back with me. That's why I said I wanted you to stay and pursue your career. I was honest when I said that I was afraid you would resent me someday if you quit your job. That was my biggest fear. I resented myself already enough ... still do."

Tony could see that she was still hurting, that she felt embarrassed and guilty. But he was a bit surprised too, because he never anticipated she blamed herself alone for the failure of their relationship. How could he not have taken that into consideration? He knew her and her tendency to always accuse herself. "I really believed you when you said we both had to do what we were meant to do. But I never even had the slightest idea you felt insufficient for me. That's nonsense, Angela! Would you please leave the decision whether I deserve you to me." He sounded very certain and even was a bit upset she had left him in the dark about her real motives for so long. "You were right, I like my job. It's a nice job, that's true, and I'm quite good at it. But I bet there are similar jobs in Connecticut."

"But ..." she started.

"No buts!" he interrupted her.

"Yes, there is a 'but', at least for me! Why are you able to turn your life upside down for me and I'm not able to do the same thing for you?" Angela felt as insecure as five years earlier.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Angela. We're different people. And we cannot transfer the Bower Agency to Iowa, but I can get a teaching job in Connecticut. It took me five years and this terrible accident to find out that we were both wrong. We're meant to be together! I love you, I never stopped loving you ..."

Tony was suddenly very assertive, finally everything made sense to him. He wanted to be together with her, no matter what. Just as she had once said in Jamaica, that she wouldn't care if he mowed lawn in Central Park, he didn't care whether he was a professor and baseball coach in Iowa or a kindergarten teacher in Connecticut as long as he was with her.

"I missed you so much, Angela. All these years. I had already lost the woman I loved once. Then, I couldn't do anything against it, this terrible disease took her from me. But this time, I have it in my own hands and I want to give our relationship another try. Fate gave us a second chance, Angela! Your accident made me see again how much I love you, how much I need you in my life and how much I want my family back. Ey oh, I'm Italian, remember?" He grabbed both her hands and looked at her sincerely. After a short pause and a deep breath he asked, "Do you want to try once more?", and desperately waited for the words he was hoping for.

Angela didn't answer him right away, which made Tony's heart beat so fast, he thought it might jump right out of his rib cage. She was smiling though, that was a good sign. "To be honest, Tony, for a brief moment I had the faint hope you might show up at the airport and hold me back, because I really couldn't imagine how I would ever be able to live without you. But then ... I was relieved you hadn't. I really honestly thought it was the right decision, although it broke my heart." _She's not answering my question!_ Tony thought, beginning to get more and more nervous. "Tony, I was so miserable without you. I loved you secretly so many years and when you were finally ready to love me back, I thought nothing could ever pull us apart. The more shattered I was when I had to find out that my personal insecurities - once again - did just that, pull us apart."

Angela's old habit of anticipating always the worst broke the surface again. It once had helped her accepting her relationship with Tony to remain purely platonic for so many years, as her fear of losing him as a friend was even bigger than her desire to have him as a lover. But now this habit might work to her disadvantage. Was she ready to make another attempt at their love despite the underlying possibility of recurring failure? It had taken her a very long time to put her life back together after their first separation. She had arranged it fairly well. Only after their rare family meetings it had always been a mess for a certain time until she had pulled herself together again - for her own sake and that of Mona's and Jonathan's - at least so she thought. Little did she know that every missed opportunity to make up with Tony broke her mother's heart a little more.

"You know what this reminds me of, Angela?" Tony tried to get her out of her self-accusation-mode. "Of the time I proposed to you and you kept on analysing every possible turnout of a marriage instead of listening to what your heart tells you. I think I have to ask my question once again because you're beating about the bush." He took her hands, squeezed them tightly and looked at her, trying to show her how much love he was willing to give her and how sincere he was about this. "When you listen to your heart, what does it say? Do you or do you not want to give our relationship a second chance?" This time he wouldn't let her off the hook.

Angela knew she had to push her misgivings aside, doing what he had once taught her: Not always play safe in life, letting opportunities pass because of undefinded fears but taking risks. It was this optimistic look on life she always envied Tony for. How often did she wish she could have such a positive, confident and life-affirming attitude.

"Oh Tony, how could I not give us another chance? You know that the best time of my life was the time I was with you!" She struggled to hold back the tears which were about to fall. She felt vulneralbe and strong at the same time. And light-hearted at the prospect of a joint future. This time it would work out, she was suddenly very sure about that.

"Okay, then it's settled!" Tony said matter-of-factly. "I call Professor Graham and hand in my resignation. And no more self-accusation and doubt, Angela, you have to promise me that. Just for the record: I don't do this for you ..." He smiled mischievously. "I do this for myself! And by the way, I wouldn't even have the possibility to work as a teacher, if it wasn't for you, remember? Only because of you believing in me all these years and your ongoing support, I became the person I am today. So who has to be grateful to whom?"

Angela smiled and stroked his cheek tenderly. In her eyes he could see all the love and affection he was yearning for. She finally seemed to let go of her brain and hold on to her heart.

"No kiss?" she asked coyly.

"You bet!"

THE END


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